It is very common for couples preparing for their wedding day to be nervous about The First Dance. Not all of us have the potential to be dancers for Alvin Ailey Dance Theater, present company included. For those who are a bit more self-conscious than most folks, it can be down-right stressful, especially if you are not a dancer.
I met with a nice young couple last week to help prepare their wedding DJ music and coordination. It turns out they are both Rockers who do not dance, nor enjoy it. They shared that they are trying to cram a last minute dance class before their September wedding. As someone who dances a lot but is not ‘skilled’ or ‘art in motion’, I smiled at their ambition. One or two classes may not get them much improvement, but it might offer them some confidence, which may be more essential.
It has been my experience there are only a few couples of their First Dance that leave a lasting impression beyond the moment itself. The joy and celebration of the dance sticks with most of us. Here are a few examples of First Dances.
1) The REAL dancers! The couples that either one or both are trained dancers with plenty of experience whether it be in the studio or the club. They will be remembered for their dancing as well as the experience. I think they are an overwhelming minority of Weddings I have been professional DJ.
2) The Goofballs! Every now and then I get the opportunity to provide music for a couple who can’t dance and are just out on the dance floor having a blast playing around and being goofy. This takes a large chunk of courage but is a fun experience for everyone and seems to speak loudest of the love and trust they have in each other. I am starting to see this couple as a Wedding DJ more and more and enjoy being present for the expression of creativity and playfulness.
3) The Awful dancers who are OK with it. We can all see that this is not what they do best and appreciate their willingness to give a genuine attempt, knowing in advance they will not succeed and are embracing it fully. I sense that most of us hold this couple dearest to our hearts. Who can’t feel inspired by a couple who are willing to put themselves out there fully without any track record to fall back on? The nervous steps and Wedding Dress caught under the feet while she blushes and giggles is a moment we capture in our mental image long after the wedding or dance. It is a statement about love and faith in each other, themselves and their friends and family.
Hint #1: If you do not qualify for #1, people are less interested in your skills as dancers and just enjoying being with you during the dance. We are celebrating the moment with you and rarely notice how well you do or do not dance with the exception of the couples who actually choreograph their First Dance with skill and precision, who are the vast minority.
Hint #2: Have fun! Enjoy your time and attention on the dance floor. It’s yours and no one can take it from you.
As someone who comes form the Shaquile O’Neal-Free Throw-School-Of-Dance, meaning, just because I do it a lot does not mean I am any good at it; I invite you to have fun and enjoy your partner, family and friends. The steps themselves are not the focus, it is the symbol and tradition that typically hold most significance.I know, I am a professional Wedding DJ.
Obviousoly not a First Dance or wedding photo. I did not experience this dance in person. I am blown away by this image every time I see it. Hope you are too!